The Episode That Made Me Realize… Ohhh, So THIS Is Dating?

Okay, real talk. When Sex and the City first hit the screen in 1998, I was twelve. TWELVE. My biggest “relationship” drama was figuring out if the boy in my math class had a crush on me or just wanted to copy my homework. Spoiler: it was the homework.😒

Season 1, Episode 1 was waaay above my pay grade at the time. It wasn’t until years later that I finally watched it… and cue the Fresh Prince theme because my world got flipped turned upside down. I instantly knew this wasn’t just a show. This was a crash course in all the stuff I’d been too shy (and maybe too scared) to ask about; dating, love, and the beautifully messy in-between.

So, here’s the gist. Carrie Bradshaw asks if women can really “have sex like a man”? Translation: no feelings, no strings, just fun. The promise of this? Total freedom from heartbreak…but the reality…feelings are rebellious little suckers. They crash the party, uninvited, in stilettos, messing up your “I’m totally fine” playlist.

And honestly, doesn’t that feel so familiar in today’s dating world? We tell ourselves we can keep it casual… until we’re spiraling because they left our text on “read” for 12 hours. We think detachment will protect us, but instead we’re juggling situationships, ghosting anxiety, and the “are we exclusive or just wasting time?” conversation that never actually happens.

This episode made me ask the big questions-**cue the Carrie over voice**

• Can we really keep emotions out of intimacy, or are we just pretending to be cool?
• Are we dating in a way that feels good for us, or are we just avoiding getting hurt?
• Are we choosing people who actually align with our values, or the ones who look good on paper but give us relationship crumbs?

Watching Carrie’s little “research project” play out felt like watching half of my clients’ dating stories in real time. Emotional detachment is not power. It’s armor. And while armor might keep out pain, it also keeps out the kind of connection you secretly wish you had. You know the one where the texts don’t make you overthink, with the partner who actually shows up, the love that feels safe and electric at the same time.

Carrie’s experiment was basically a neon sign flashing: “You can’t control love.” You can’t outsmart it, you can’t trick it, and if you’re so busy dodging heartbreak, you might miss the magic entirely.

So now, before I date anyone, I ask myself:

• Am I choosing from self-worth or from fear?
• If heartbreak wasn’t on the table, what kind of connection would I actually want?
• Am I showing up as the real me, or as the me I think will get picked?

Because here’s the truth about today’s dating climate: the swipe culture, the breadcrumbing, and the dating app burnout — it’s all just noise. The only thing that cuts through it is clarity. Knowing your values. Noticing your patterns. And being brave enough to keep your heart open and your boundaries strong.

That first episode may have been wrapped in 90s nostalgia and fabulous fashion, but the question at its core? Still hits today. Are you just playing the dating game, or are you intentionally creating your love story?

If you’re ready to stop repeating the same patterns and start building the kind of relationship you actually deserve, book your free Love Blueprint Session with me. Let’s map out exactly what you want in love, what’s been getting in the way, and how to start attracting the right kind of connection.

Until the next adventure always remember to

Choose you. Love you. Pick you. 💕✨